5 Love Languages for Children

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Hello Fellow Parents! 

I want to make sure you know that I am not any sort of expert on how you should love your kids and the things we should be doing or not doing, or whatever, to raise our children to be mature, responsible, and loving members of society. But, I wanted to share a resource that I just found out about and thought someone out there could use it like I could. You have heard about the “5 Love Languages For Relationships”, but did you know that there is now a book for children and teenagers?

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The 5 Love Languages of Children and for the teenagers The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers New Edition: The Secret to Loving Teens Effectively

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Before I get to what I learned, let me tell you why I believe it’s important that every parent know their child’s love language. If you do not understand how your child best gives and receives love he or she may grow up wondering whether or not he or she is truly loved. This is especially true if he or she has siblings who do seem happy and seem to receive “real” love. If you understand your child’s love language and speak that language you may be able to help your child do the same as he or she grows up.

Now this does take time and effort on your part, but it is worth it! As a parent I want to know how my child wants to be loved and how they show love in return.

The love languages are:

Gifts
If your child’s love language is gifts he or she will feel most loved when receiving personal, thoughtful gifts. It can be really easy to think that every child’s love language is gifts because children ask for so many things (candy, toys, etc.). However, children with this love language will be very touched by gifts especially thoughtful things that come out of the blue. In addition, if your child’s love language is gifts he or she will probably frequently give you things. It’s important to express gratitude and pleasure at receiving these gifts so your child will feel loved.

Physical Touch
If your child’s love language is physical touch he or she will feel most loved when in contact with you such as hugs, kisses, cuddling, or perhaps even wrestling. While many young children seek out physical contact with mom and dad, the child that speaks the love language of physical touch will light up when hugged, tossed in the air, spun around, patted on the back, etc. As your child gets older he or she may act uncomfortable with physical touch because mom and dad are SO uncool; however, little things like a touch on the arm, pat on the back, or brief hug will still mean a lot.

Quality Time
If your child’s love language is quality time he or she will feel most loved when receiving your focused, undivided attention. As a busy parent, especially the parent of multiple children, this can be a hard language to speak; however, there really is no substitute for quality time when a child speaks this love language. Keep in mind that quality time doesn’t necessarily mean a weekend trip with just you and your child; rather, it can be as simple as taking your child out for ice cream or sitting with them for an hour listening to them talk about what’s important to them.

Service?
If your child’s love language is service he or she will feel most loved when you do some service for him or her. For example, doing his or her laundry or fixing a favorite toy. The “service” or task doesn’t have to be anything huge; any sacrifice of your time to the child that speaks the love language of service will translate as being loved. Keep in mind that children make a lot of requests; just because your child’s love language is service doesn’t mean you have to honor every request or risk your child feeling unloved…you merely need to be sensitive to requests and remember what your child’s love language is.

Words of Affirmation
If your child’s love language is words of affirmation he or she will feel most loved when hearing endearments, praise, encouragement, and compliments. Basically, if your child’s love language is words of affirmation you need to tell not show. Words speak volumes. If this is your child’s love language it is essential to keep in mind that your child will be very sensitive to verbal criticisms. When criticizing the child with this love language you should try to emphasize any positives.

When we take time to know our children’s love language we show them they are truly valued and we care deeply for them. I bet you already know which one goes with some of your children. 

While I was researching this topic I came across a mommy guide printable from Happy Mom, Busy Kids that I thought would be great to hang up somewhere as a reminder of how we should show love to our kiddos. 

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If you are interested in learning more make sure to purchase these two great books that can help you learn what your child’s love language is.  The 5 Love Languages of Children and for the teenagers The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers New Edition: The Secret to Loving Teens Effectively

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I encourage you today to look out for your children’s love language.  Once you do, make sure you keep it in mind when you are parenting that child!  I bet if you do, you will see that relationship grow, this is especially great to do with a child you are struggling with!  It will make such a difference.

Jessica About Jessica

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